Swipe Right to the Outer Space

Hello there, I’m a female alien (that’s how you call us, right?) from a planet located in a galaxy the humans called Andromeda. Here to make sure my kind can last longer and spread wider across the universe.

That was what’s written on her dating app profile. As a sci-fi nerd, I don’t need to think much about swiping right, even though the pictures she is using for her profile only consist of cosplay silhouettes and artsy weird spaceship-like photos.

And here she is now, sipping her cup of Papua Wamena, appearing in front of me in the form of the dream girl I’ve had in mind. With her short bob hair, thick eyebrows, sharp eyes, and never-ending smile directed at me.

“So yeah, I came to this place like 168 hours ago. There were twelve of us, and I’m the lucky one to be located in a place with such fantastic drinks,” she said, explaining about her task as an alien.

I love sci-fi, but this might have been too much. She never said anything about her job, where she was really born, and other normal stuff. Maybe she is crazy, that must be it, no way such a perfect looking girl be perfect on the inside too, I said to myself.

“So are you going to release this story as a novel, comic, games, or film?” I asked her.

“What story?”

“The story you’ve been telling me, it sounds really great to be adapted into something popular.”

“Well, I’ve been telling the stories through social media and dating apps.”

“That’s not enough. If it can be adapted to some mainstream media, you could be rich you know, you can be popular!”

“Hmm popular, does that mean more people will know about my folks, and about our mission?”

“Definitely!”

“And with more exposure like that, it should be easier for me to meet humans with high-quality seeds!”

“Uumm … yeah, I guess.”

“Ok then, where should I start?”

Suddenly, my phone starts ringing. It’s my best friend.

“Ah pardon me for a while, I need to pick this up,” I said to her while answering the call.

“Yo man! Who the hell is that chick you’re with?! She looks so pretty man!” My friend said with excitement, but it seems like he is trying to hold his voice down.

“What? Are you at the usual coffee shop now?”

“Yes! I’m lining up in the barista counter, can you see me?”

“Oh ya, there you are.”

“You lucky bastard, where did you meet that beauty? Man, I really like her colorful long hair!”

“Huh? What do you mean?”

“Can’t you see the girl in front of you? She perfectly fits the ideal girl I’ve always had in mind! Long colorful hair, slanted eyes, those beautifully drawn eyebrows…”

I put down my phone and starts staring at the girl in front of me with a really mixed emotion.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” asked the girl.

“You really are an alien.”

“Oh come on, that’s what I’ve been telling you from the beginning.”

“Well, fuck me….”

“Finally! That was my task all along. So, my place or yours? And please, no protection.”